


cherry wine

by littlevodika



Series: Marvel/MCU Fanfiction [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Abuse, Domestic Violence, Emotional Abuse, F/F, Physical Abuse, Stockholm Syndrome, dark!Natasha, domestic abuse, kinda graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-09
Updated: 2020-04-09
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23564146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlevodika/pseuds/littlevodika
Summary: No matter how dysfunctional people say your relationship is, you love it anyway. You love her. And to you, that's all that matters.
Relationships: Natasha Romanov/Reader, natasha Romanoff/reader
Series: Marvel/MCU Fanfiction [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1509716
Kudos: 48





	cherry wine

**Author's Note:**

> descriptions of emotional & physical abuse, I guess this could be considered Dark!Natasha so have fun I guess, protective Bucky, maybe this could be filed under Stockholm Syndrome??? ANGST, inspired by Cherry Wine by Hozier, this has been an idea digging at me for ages

_Her eyes and words are so icy_  
_Oh but she burns_  
_Like rum on the fire_  
_Hot and fast and angry_  
_As she can be_  
_I walk my days on a wire_

Days after coming back from missions were the worst. Your relationship would become a tightrope act akin to those you see at the circus, almost anything you do becoming a possible trigger for her. 

She would get a distant look in her eyes, the vibrant green that used to be lively and playful morphing into dull orbs of disdain and ferocity. When you returned home from an assignment, however, all you wanted was to be in her arms. But instead, Natasha would cast a manicured finger towards the chores you couldn't do while on assignment. 

She was stubborn like that. Blatantly refusing to carry someone else's weight, even if they were on another continent and therefore unable to wash the dishes piling up in the sink (and sometimes on the counter beside the sink, depending on the length of your absence). 

You weren't even allowed to bathe until your backlog of chores were done. She would sit and watch you work, the dishes taking hours to finish because she seemed to enjoy using every single cup you both owned and never rinsing them out. 

But you did it all with a smile on your face, soft music playing while your fingertips turned to prunes. It made her happy to see a clean home, and that was all you wanted. 

_It looks ugly, but it's clean_  
_Oh momma, don't fuss over me_

They would worry if none of them had seen you for days, wondering if Nat had left marks again that couldn't be brushed away with the excuse of a mission. 

Wanda avoided you ever since she had seen the first set of feminine hand-shaped bruises on your wrist. She pointed it out to the guys and they were on edge for days, Clint being the one to outwardly express his concern for you one night during dinner. 

Natasha had assured her friends that it was remnants of a wild night knowing that no one would dare debate it, but that interaction effectively put an abrupt end to the once-frequent visits with the team in the common areas of the Tower. 

She wasn't keeping you from them out of malice. You believed she was just a private person in general and didn't like to share you with anyone, and that was okay. 

_The way she tells me_  
_I'm hers and she is mine_  
_Open hand or closed fist would be fine_  
_The blood is rare and_  
_Sweet as cherry wine_

On the days the both of you were off, you would give her massages, run her bath water, and give her manicures without a murmur of discontentment or a spoken desire for the same from her. 

The first and last time you had pressed her about the subject, it ended horribly for you, bruises along your torso and crescent indentations along your wrist and neck. Needless to say, you were okay being without the spa treatment from then on unless Nat initiated it, and even then it could be as long or short as she wanted it to be. 

Your girlfriend could be so sweet and so loving sometimes, but at the worst times her venom was far too akin to the arachnid she was named for. 

_Calls of guilty thrown at me_  
_All while she stains_  
_The sheets of some other_  
_Thrown at me so powerfully_  
_Just like she throws_  
_With the arm of her brother_

A conversation you had with Bucky floats back into the front of your mind on the odd occasion, your dear friend finally able to corner you away from Natasha's prying eyes. 

You smiled at your friend, although you were slightly curious as to why he seemed so antsy to get you away from Nat. 

"Everyone is really worried about you. We miss you at breakfast and dinner, laughing and joking like you used to." His soft grey eyes were piercing your soul, the emotions you usually hide from everyone were threatening to rear their heads. 

His vibranium hand pushed aside the sleeves on your arms and bore witness to hand-shaped bruises and what he thought were burn scars. It took everything in him to keep from exploding right then, knowing that you were like a baby deer, the moment he moved too fast or yelled too loud you would run. 

"Y/N/N, what is she doing to you?" The moment you notice tears welling in his eyes you look down, not wanting to accept that you caused your friend to feel like this. He didn't let you for long, his flesh hand cradling the side of your face where tears had already begun to fall. To keep you from seeing him cry, he pulled you closer into his chest, your face being buried into it while the soldier slowly rocked with you in his arms. 

You went to explain, but your words slightly muffled. He could probably hear you with the barrier anyways. "I know, Bucky, and I miss you guys too. But-" 

"Y/N!! What the fuck are you doing?!" 

Nat's venomous scolding made you jump and shrink yourself under her gaze. Quickly, you shoved Buck's arms from around you and pulled your sleeves back down. 

_Fuck, you were in so much trouble._

Bucky witnessed this with a frown, wrapping a protective arm around you. "She's having a conversation with a friend, fuck off." 

Nat rolled her eyes, her delicate yet calloused hand reaching for your wrist but Bucky shoves it away. "A friend? Sure, that's exactly what this is," she scoffs at the idea, a finger flitting between the two of you. 

Both you and the Brooklyn native quickly grasp what your girlfriend is trying to imply and Bucky is offended enough for both of you. "She barely fuckin' leaves your floor, how could we possibly have any kind of affair?! Use your head, Nat!" Bucky went from distraught to pissed in record time, highly offended that Nat would insinuate something so vulgar. 

"Baby, I would never hurt you like that! I love you too much to do something so horrible!" 

The commotion drew some attention from Clint and Steve, both of them becoming witnesses when all they wanted to do was use the elevator the three of you were blocking. 

"Buck, what's going on?" Steve asked, Clint trying to read the situation before asking questions. 

"Nat's saying Y/N cheated on her with me! Hell, I don't even have access to their floor! And-"  
"Explain why you and her were getting all cozy then!" 

You tried to slink your way out of Bucky' protective arm but your movements were easily halted, Nat gripping one wrist like a vice and Bucky hooking his arm around your opposite arm. The blond men eyes this interaction worriedly, neither sure where this could lead. 

"I was comforting my friend! You seem to not be able to do it these days! Too busy molding her into your slave to let her being around people who actually love her!" 

"Bucky, that's enough." Steve and Clint knew now that this could lead nowhere pretty and they were worried. 

"You know what, Barnes? You can fuck yourself. Come on Y/N, we're leaving." With one final yank from your girlfriend, you were out of Bucky's grasp and being forcefully pulled into the elevator. 

_But I want it_  
_It's a crime_  
_That she's not around_  
_Most of the time_

That was the last time you had seen Bucky, and the whole ordeal in the common room had happened almost a month ago. You worried that he was also avoiding you because of your relationship with the assassin (like Wanda was, you had realized last week) and that eventually, your friends would leave you. 

But you did try to see them when Nat was on a mission, it just never worked out. They were either too busy training or they were on a separate mission completely different from Nat's or they had excuses. 

It got to the point where you wanted to, you had to make a choice. You could break off your relationship with Nat and therefore risk your position on the team. You loved being an Avenger, but you knew that since Nat was not only one of the original six but also had strong SHIELD ties, it could be ridiculously easy for her to get you kicked off. 

There was also the possibility of staying in the Tower because most of everyone you associated with these days lived with you. You didn't notice it, but you had lost nearly all contact with friends and family outside of the Tower because of your girlfriend. That made it harder for you to find a reason to leave, your life suddenly being encased into one building and leaving it frightened you. 

But you knew deep inside that you couldn't leave the Tower, couldn't leave her. You loved Natasha with every bone in your body, and she loved you. She may not always be the best at showing it, but you knew that her heart had a special place for you. 

_And it's worth it, it's divine_  
_I have this some of the time._  
_The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine_  
_Open hand or closed fist would be fine_  
_The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine_


End file.
